Keep Moving Forward

A couple years ago, ok, perhaps several years ago, I went to see a movie called “Meet the Robinsons” and the message throughout was “Keep Moving Forward”, and that is what I am truly trying to do. Some days it is certainly easier than others.

 

I was warned by a few friends who are breast cancer survivors that when all of the official treatment ends, I may find myself feeling a bit anxious. And that is very true.  After months of tests, treatment and doctors appointments all is very eerily quiet on that front. It truly is very surreal and hard to deal with at times. And at other times, like when I am working on this take home exam for the health law course it feels like I am moving forward with life very quickly.

 

But then I stop and wonder what exactly does that mean; to move forward with life? Trying to stay healthy and also trying to figure out my next employment move is difficult indeed. Do I stay in Amherstburg and look for work? Or do I look elsewhere in Ontario or even abroad? So I have decided to take one day at a time, focus on my health, and see what opportunities there may be. Oh, and do my absolute best not to stress about the future. If my cancer journey has taught me anything at all, it certainly has taught me that I must appreciate each and every day.

 

You may be wondering what I have been doing that has kept me too busy to update my blog. Some days I wonder that myself, but I do know that the last few weeks have flown by. So what exactly have I been up to…?

 

When I arrived back in Amherstburg for the long weekend in May, I discovered a crack in my ceiling in the room which contains my piano. It didn’t look serious at first, but I couldn’t really understand why there was a crack in the newest part of my house. Was it from settling? Was there blasting or pounding with the construction next door? However, it wasn’t long before I learned that the crack was actually caused from a leaky roof. I had no idea how much water could sit in your ceiling before it would cause a crack. Now if you have ever had a leaky roof then you will understand what happened next. Drywall had to be removed, insulation had to be removed, the wood had to be sprayed for mold, and then everything had to be put back together again. Suffice it to say that I got to know the construction team in my house!

 

And since I try to start each day with some exercise, the positive part of this new problem was that it forced me to get up early every day so that I could fit in my exercise before the construction team arrived at my house. I also decided to help the environment by walking to the gym instead of driving. It is actually best that I get there early before the sun is too hot; otherwise my fellow workout partners are not too impressed with me.

So between my roof issue, my new exercise routine, my take home exam, and catching up with friends, the last ten days of May were just plain busy. And before I knew it I was boarding a plane for Winnipeg.

 

Jo-Anne came with me for a quick trip to Winnipeg. And although the purpose was to meet with a reconstruction doctor, we actually ended up having a lot of fun. She had never been to Winnipeg, so we walked down to the Forks; had a glass of sangria at an outdoor patio; and had dinner back at the hotel. A friend from Winnipeg met us for a drink and we had a great discussion about breast cancer treatment and reconstruction options in Ontario and in Manitoba. Reconstruction is something that I know that I want to have; however, my options are somewhat limited because of my body shape and previous back injuries, so I am continuing to research possibilities.

 

And as you know, my first priority each and every day is exercise, so the morning of the appointment we decided to walk to the doctor’s office. The concierge seemed very concerned about this and tried to convince us to take a taxi. But I was determined to get my exercise in, so we walked. It perhaps wasn’t the nicest part of town, but we made it safe and sound.

 

After a long meeting and lots of new information from the physician and his team about reconstruction, we went for lunch and then took another walk back to the Forks. While sitting on a bench in the warm sunshine a bird pooped on me and my friend Jo-Anne assured me that this was a sign of good luck. I certainly hope that she is right!

 

It was a long plane ride back to Windsor, and with weather delays, we didn’t get back to Amherstburg until 1:45 am! However, I did get up the next morning and walk to the gym to do weight training before the construction team arrived. And while they were inside my house, I sat on the porch outside to work on my exam and make some phone calls. Deciding that I needed a break later in the day, I had a nap and then went for a swim at my parents before returning to work on my take home exam.

 

After my morning walk to the gym, Friday was my day to finish up all the loose ends for estate tax stuff, some banking, and a couple meetings for potential work opportunities. The highlight of the day was stopping at Barb and Dave’s for hors d’ouevres in the late afternoon, before heading home to work on the exam.

 

An uneventful weekend started with a long walk and weight training at the gym. I dedicated the weekend to working on my take home exam and I was partially successful. I did get sidetracked by the beautiful weather and persuaded to go for a swim at my parents on Saturday and Sunday. However I can truly justify a swimming break as it is good for me and is helping me to regain movement in my left arm.

 

On Monday I got up very early so that I could fit my walk and weight training in before driving to Burlington. It was a nice drive and when I arrived I was able to treat myself to a long overdue pedicure (it was a birthday present). I also had dinner with a friend from Kitchener. We got to know one another many years ago as young liberals, and although we have gone our separate directions, it was great to catch up and reminisce.

 

Tuesday was a busy day, and I decided to take the GO train into Toronto for my early morning meetings before my appointment with the plastic surgeon. Cathy met me for lunch before the appointment and came with me. She did her best to keep me calm, but when we start discussing the options for reconstruction I do get a bit anxious. The good news is that there might be some options; the bad news is that Ontario may not do the surgery that is best for my body type. There will have to be another appointment to review the different surgeries and options in the next six weeks or so. It was definitely difficult to fall asleep that night as I thought about what option might be best for me. 

 

The next morning came early so that I could meet up with a friend for coffee before taking the GO train into Toronto for another meeting. By strange coincidence Cathy was also GO training it into Toronto for a meeting and we were able to travel back on the same train. Later in the day I ended up driving back to Amherstburg and talking with a couple friends along the way (hands free of course!). I also have a new CD book tape to listen to by Dr. Oz’s wife, and it is actually pretty interesting so far.

 

Determined to get in better shape, on Thursday morning I got up and walked to the gym to use the weights. Not long after I had returned home the restoration crew arrived at my house to finish the drywall and put things back together. It didn’t feel like I accomplished much, but I decided to take pride in the fact that I had made it to the gym and back.

 

The next few days were dedicated to finishing the exam. Have I mentioned yet how difficult it is to be a student again after 20 years? I truly enjoy the reading and the class sessions, but the stress of exams is something I definitely could do without! Although it is helping to sharpen my reasoning and analytical skills once again, and the topics have been truly interesting so far.

 

Even with the exam to finish, I did manage to fit in my exercise each morning and a fundraising dinner for cancer. A good friend (who is motivated by my recent bout with cancer) is walking in the Weekend to End Women’s Cancer in September. Together with a member of her team, she organized a fundraising dinner which was a lot of fun and took me away from the exam for several hours!

 

I will have to admit that part of the pressure of finishing the exam came because of a previous commitment that I had made to go to Ottawa for a few days. In the end, it was actually a good kind of pressure, because the exam was finished (almost) and I could head off to Ottawa with a clear head. And it was a great trip to Ottawa. I had dinner with some of my former colleagues, caught up with some friends for coffee and lunch, and attended a reception with many familiar faces! There was a work element to the trip, but I didn’t let that get in the way of enjoying myself.

 

The trip back to Amherstburg was broken up by a visit to Toronto for my follow up appointment with my oncologist. While we were waiting to see my oncologist we had a room with a window and the strangest thing happened. There was a gopher and her baby just outside our room. I say this is strange because some of you may have watched the Caddy Shack movie and remember the song “I’m all right”. Well a friend of mine had given me a battery operated gopher that sings this song a while back. It was very strange to see these Gophers outside of the room. And the good news was that I am all right, my cancer treatment is officially over aside from the Tamoxifen and my life is moving forward. Cathy and I went out for lunch to celebrate after; it was our best visit to the hospital so far.

 

Once back in Amherstburg I quickly fell into a new routine. Exercise in the morning, some reading for my next health law course, perhaps a swim at my parents or a visit with friends. I am also doing a little more cooking and I invited my family over for Father’s day brunch to sample a new egg dish recommended by my friend Sylvia.

 

It has truly been an extremely busy month. My first priority is my health, which means exercise and sleep, but after that there has been a lot going on. Both high school and my course finished around the same time and Shelby came down to visit Katie. The three of us went to the mall, had some dinner and went to see Toy Story 3. It made me feel a little old that the main character Andy has grown up and is going off to college; however it was a lot of fun to hang out with my two 18 year old nieces. But I will admit that I was tired when my head hit the pillow that night.

 

The end of June also finished with a lot of activity. There was a wine tasting event at CREW winery that had a silent auction that raised some money for cancer research. A couple friends celebrated their birthdays in June and I found time for a glass of wine, yes only one, which is my new limit. There was also preparation and a trip to Guelph for the tribunal hearing at the end of June, but the good news was that I made it home in time for Katie’s graduation.

 

Yes, the month of June has flown by, but the really good news is that my house is almost back in order and my second course is finished except for the exam portion which is a fifteen page essay. I have a new strategy to tackle this exam and the other items on my list of things to do in the month of July. If I allow myself to rest when I need it and if I plan activities that I look forward to, then I am much more productive throughout the day.  This strategy will allow me to keep moving forward in a very positive way. And what better way to start the month of July than with a celebration for Canada Day.

 

Canada Day is definitely a time to be thankful for living in such a great country. Eight years ago, I spent Canada Day in Afghanistan as Minister for International Cooperation. And not a year goes by when I don’t think about the Canada Day that I spent there and what is happening in that country today. There is a special place in my heart for all of the men and women from Canada that are trying to make Afghanistan a better place.

 

And on this Canada Day I definitely had a lot to be thankful for right here at home. I know that the fact that I am on the road to a full recovery is partly a result of our health care system. The other part is the support that I have received from family and friends. In traditional Canada Day style my friends and family came over for a barbecue, but they brought all of the food! So we celebrated surrounded by red and white on my porch and capped the day by watching the fireworks that evening on the Detroit River.

 

Hoping you all had a very Happy Canada Day as well!