Susan's Fight Back

Is there Hope in the Colour Pink and Pink Ribbons?

Although I had hoped to be able to get into a new routine this fall and update my blog on a regular basis, I have come to the conclusion there is no perfect time. So now is as good a time as any to start to catch up!

Back in September I had the privilege of attending the Pink Ribbons Inc. film at the Toronto Film Festival with my niece, Katie. I had heard about some of the contents of the film before we had a chance to view it, but I do believe that I tried to watch it with an open mind.

Perhaps I should back track just a bit though. In September of 2010, I participated in a round table discussion on agriculture and the potential links to cancer. This roundtable discussion was filmed by the National Film Board. I felt at the time that the discussion was not as controversial as the film producer was expecting and it may have even been a bit of a disappointment because it was not diverse. So when I watched the film Pink Ribbons Inc. it did not come as a surprise to discover that the agriculture roundtable discussion ended up on the cutting floor.

So I went into the theatre already suspecting that this roundtable wasn't part of the film; I went in knowing that there was a negative portrayal of the pink ribbon campaign and corporate sponsorship; and I went in knowing that there was some focus on a stage four breast cancer support group. What I wasn't expecting was the lack of fairness and balance I felt as I watched the film.

Why did I think that it was unbalanced? I truly thought that the examples of corporate sponsorship were depicted in a very unfair manner. Having been in politics a while back, I understand what can happen when they take 30 seconds out of you 90 second sound bite - it usually doesn't sound very good. And although there have been a few missteps along the way in securing corporate partnerships and sponsorship, the reality is that there have been many good, successful partnerships that have raised hundreds of millions of dollars that have been used for research. This is money that would not have been raised without these same corporations stepping up to help out. And yes, I do recognize they also made a profit.

What I found interesting about the film however, was the fact that it did not acknowledge that people would have bought the products without the pink ribbon on them. Would you not buy paper or a pen or a razor to shave? so why not let some money from the sale of these products shift over to cancer research?

In addition, as someone who has made it through stage three breast cancer, including a double mastectomy, chemo, radiation, and bilateral reconstruction, I found the focus on stage four breast cancer truly unbalanced and frankly, quite disturbing. Today the reality is that more women have stage 1 or stage 2 breast cancer then they do stage 3 or stage 4. And today the fact is that more women survive breast cancer than ever before, so why would the film focus mostly on stage 4?  Is it because the producer thought that negativity and tragedy sells? Can one not live with hope regardless of the stage of cancer they may have? I think they can - at least that is the way that I have chosen to live my life.

I have asked myself over and over what kind of story would the film have been if it had focused on the successes in early stage detection and the decades of research that made these successes possible. Would anyone watch a film that talks about the improvements in breast cancer treatment and survival rates - or would they prefer to watch a film that speaks mostly about terminal breast cancer patients and untimely deaths and whether pink ribbons that bring hope to many in earlier stage cancers, only bring dispair to those fighting later stage cancer.

Personally, I don't think this is true nor do I accept it as true - I believe you can also find hope and happiness in each day of life. I watched my aunt fight her battle with breast cancer, on and off, for 16 years and she didn't give up until her very last breath. She lived life to the fullest each and every day and that is how I intend to live my life. I don't focus on the fact I had stage 3 breast cancer, I focus on the fact that I am alive today and living life to the fullest.

It was my intention also to buy the book and see if the film was an accurate interpretation of the book - but October was a very busy month - with many real life experiences taking place as I live life to the fullest - so the book will have to wait a bit. And that is probably a good thing as well, because I did feel some anger and frustration by the end of the film, and I would like that to completely subside before I read the book.

However, I find myself in the month of November still reflecting on the film Pink Ribbons Inc. and wondering if it had any affect on fundraising efforts for Breast Cancer Awareness month, which was the month of October.

It sure didn't look like it did at the Run for the Cure fundraising event that I attended on October 2nd, or the Taking Steps Against Breast Cancer event on October 16th. At both events there were hundreds of participants and many of them also donned the colour pink. I did my best to also wear some pink - in fact I tried to wear some pink each and every day in October - partly in protest of the film, but mainly because I like the colour pink and what it stands for.

Some say the colour pink encourages friendliness while discouraging aggression and ill-will. Others say it can stimulate energy, encourage action and confidence. Whatever the definition is - I know that I truly like the colour pink and the hope that it brings to me personally.

Not a day goes by where I don't think about the fact that each and every day there is someone out there conducting research, getting closer and closer to finding a cure for breast cancer. If pink ribbons and the colour pink continue to raise money for research, so be it. I will continue to wear as much pink as I possibly can to let my friends and family know the hope that pink brings to me and how important the colour pink might be to all women.

So to answer the question, yes, I do believe there is hope in the colour pink and in pink ribbons.

 

Run for the Cure

Hello friends,

On Sunday, October 2, the Run for the Cure will take place and the funds raised will support breast cancer research. Visit my personal page if you would like to learn more:

http://www.runforthecure.com/site/TR/RunfortheCure/CentralOffice?px=1655482&pg=personal&fr_id=1291.

or visit www.cbcf.org

After the Run for the Cure look for a new post on my site.

Thanks for your help,

Susan

As those Hazy Summer Days Come to an End

It is truly hard to believe that summer is coming to an end soon and I am not quite sure where there time has gone.  Suffice it to say that since my last post in May, a lot has happened in my life. Both good and not so good; but the good days definitely outweigh the not so good, so the balance is definitely in my favour.

May and June definitely saw their share of spring showers, which were quickly replaced with incredible hot and humid, hazy summer days. Somewhere in between, I managed to finish a couple more health law courses, clean out my garage, go out on a few dates, spend time with family and friends, and also become more immersed in my new job with rare Charitable Research Reserve in Cambridge, Ontario.

It was also a time period which allowed me to invest some time in my advocacy work to improve the laws for breast cancer screening.  First, I was asked to join the Ontario Board of the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation and secondly, I was invited to speak to the World Conference on Breast Cancer that was held in Hamilton in early June.  Both were exciting challenges that I readily agreed to. Little did I know that the day of the speech in Hamilton, would also be the day of the funeral of an extremely close friend.

Many of you may have read about the sudden passing of the Province's Deputy Speaker, Bruce Crozier, but nothing truly prepared me for that early Saturday morning call with the news of his death. I served with Bruce for over 11 years; while he was the provincial MP and I was the federal MP; and we became very close friends. We often joked about him being the older brother I never had; and I being the younger sister he never had. Our close working relationship turned into a beautiful friendship and for the past 18 years, Bruce and his wife Joan, have been part of my life.  What made his passing even more difficult was the fact that every time Bruce and I got together since my cancer diagnosis, he would always tear up and express his worry about my fight with cancer. Not once did I ever dream that he would be gone so suddenly.

So the call on that Saturday morning was almost unbelievable; and as I recovered a little from the shocking news, I remembered that I had planned to visit my cousin's husband later that morning. He had recently been diagnosed with a brain tumour and wasn't doing very well.

As we sat on his porch that morning, Lynwood and I talked about the important things in our life - family, friends, and loved ones. Not once did we talk about the extra hours we spent at work or the time we spent worrying about things that we could not control. We did share our fears upon being diagnosed with cancer; and what the diagnosis and treatment might mean for our loved ones and caregivers; in his case his beautiful wife of more than 55 years, his children and grandchildren; in my case, my family and close friends, and many extended nieces and nephews. It was a beautiful, heartfelt discussion we had that day. He had such a positive outlook on life before his diagnosis and he tried valiantly to remain independent throughout his illness. Unfortunately, he took a turn for the worse, and didn't make it through the month of June. He left behind a memory of a man with a smile for everyone he met; a man who was able to greet every day with optimism; and a man who cared passionately for his family and friends.

When I think back to the words at Bruce Crozier's service, there were two mottos that Bruce lived by. First, what is important to you and secondly what are the things you do?  Bruce's family was important to him; and he found time to spend with his wife Joan, his children and grandchildren. Yes, his work was also important to him, but he definitely had his priorities in order. So did my cousin's husband, Lynwood. Both of their lives are reminders for me that I need to constantly maintain balance, between work, family and friends, and that I must not allow the scale to tip in favour of too much activity that could affect my health. Of course, this is easier said than done!

June was also a month that pushed me to find time to celebrate and enjoy life with family and friends. A couple Saturday evenings out for dinner with friends, a day or two at the golf course, walking with my friends for exercise and a glass of wine and pizza on my porch while watching the sunset with friends. Before I knew it, I was preparing for my annual July 1st barbecue to celebrate Canada Day.

Of course, the rain that we enjoyed in May was long gone and July 1st in Amherstburg was definitely hot, humid and hazy!  But as my friends gathered and the sun set, the mood was joyous and light hearted. By the time the fireworks began that evening, everyone was relaxed and celebrating Canada Day by sharing stories over a glass of wine or a beer. It reminded me of the warm, sunny Canada Day I had spent in Afghanistan back in 2002 - where I shared a beer with a couple former defence officials.  Yes, Canada Day is a time to reflect on how lucky we are to be Canadian and also a time to celebrate with family and friends. 

The month of July just seemed to fly by as I finished another take home exam for a course in the evenings and spent my days working at the rare Charitable Research Reserve. Before I knew it, it was time to leave for cottage country. So I packed up my books, my laptop and a couple weeks of supplies.

For those that have read my blog in the past, you may remember that our family cottage is on an island in northern Ontario, without electricity or hot water. Bathing is a swim in the lake; and if it is a sunny day we have lots of solar power. The good news was this past July was very warm and sunny, so I was able to actually tether my blackberry to my computer, hook up to the internet, do a little work and recharge for the next day. Of course the signal is not consistent yet, so there were days when I was forced to work from my blackberry or just to relax! I truly enjoyed those days where I was forced to relax!

My parents were able to join Jo-Anne, Ron, Curtis and I, at the cottage for a week, and once again we were all spoiled by Jo-Anne's fabulous cooking. This year I also rented a pontoon boat and that made life a little easier to get both the supplies and the cottagers on and off the island. Curtis and Ron have also decided that it is a great boat for fishing, as they caught a record number of fish! My niece Katie, and Jo-Anne's daughter Kyla, also joined us for the first few days, and kept us entertained as only 20 year olds can! It definitely brought back many memories....

We also managed to fit in a couple afternoons with Sylvia and her family at their island nearby. It was truly a lovely vacation with family and friends - and the weather was spectactular. Although I did try to exercise by swimming every day, I will admit that I gained a few pounds with all of the great cooking and afternoon social hours!

Before July was over, I was back at work trying to wrap up a couple projects by month's end. However, each day there are new and exciting challenges at rare, so as one project ends, another replaces it. August has been filled with progress on the renovation projects scheduled to begin soon. There were a couple small setbacks along the way, but for anyone involved in the construction world, this would only sound normal. I am definitely still learning a lot!

August has also provided a few routine medical checkups including my six month visit with my oncologist. Is it truly possible that another six months has passed? The even better news is that it is now more than two years since my diagnosis and I am healthy, well and living life to its fullest.

The end of August saw me in Winnipeg, accompanied by my good friend Sylvia, for a weekend to complete another round of touch up surgery. When I try to explain the process to people they get this glazed look in their eyes, so suffice it say that I am  still a "work in progress!"  The good news is that the major surgery is done and now it is just a matter of fiddling with things ( I hope!). Sylvia and I were also blessed with beautiful weather in Winnipeg in August - so let's hope that my next round of surgery will also be during good weather.

Yes, as those hazy summer days come to an end, it is a chance for me to reflect on my life over the past two years since my original diagnosis and to thank each and every one of my family and friends for their love and support. The odds may have been stacked against me, but I am living proof that love and friendship is an important part of the healing process.

Let's toast the end of summer this Labor Day Weekend, and be thankful for family and friends and find time to spend with them - I truly know what is important to me and I hope you do too!

Walk Behind a Smile - and Remember that Every Day is a Gift

Ok, this time I am truly delinquent. I promised an update over a month ago and I just could not find the time to deliver. That is the bad news; the good news is the reason I could not update my blog is that I was too busy taking care of myself. See, I am learning!

Life is definitely different after my cancer experience. For those that know me well you may find this hard to believe; but my absolute first priority is 7 to 8 hours sleep each night; and sometimes even more. My other priorities include healthy eating (and the odd piece of chocolate or glass of red wine), getting some exercise, and spending time with family and friends. Add in my latest priority which is 8 to 10 hours of work at my new job along with an hour or two for my health law course work and there just isn’t a lot of time left in a day.

As you all know, Monday was Election Day in Canada; and suffice it to say that I wasn’t thrilled with all of the results. I know a lot of hard working, dedicated, very intelligent and compassionate people that were not elected; and I know others that I wouldn’t trust to drive me around the block that were elected. That being said, it did give me a chance to reflect on my term in Parliament. And when I think back now, I actually smile about the crazy hours and lifestyle that I kept; that I actually thought was healthy at the time.

Why did I think getting 5 or 6 hours sleep was healthy? Because I sometimes found an hour to exercise once or twice a week; because I didn’t drink much alcohol; and because I thought that I made healthy choices in restaurants. Add in about 16 to 18 hours of work most days; any wonder why my body failed me several years later? I truly tried to be super woman. I took on every important local issue; tried to ensure my area was reflected in most national decisions or changes; and literally just never stopped. When I joined cabinet and became responsible for Canada’s foreign aid program; I just added that to the list of things to do. I thought that I could do it all. I can remember being in Kenya; up at 2 am Kenya time, talking to my office back in Essex; or being in Russia, talking to the Mayor of Windsor about the border issue. No, my foreign travels were not as a tourist; they were work and then more work. But I loved what I did; and knew it was a privilege to be elected and have the opportunity to serve on behalf of Canadians. I will never be certain, but I often think that if my life was just a bit more balanced back then that I perhaps I would not have had breast cancer.

So my advice to all new and perhaps old Members of Parliament; is to remember to stop and smell the roses. Take some time each day for yourself; and get enough rest. We are all replaceable; just look at Monday’s results; 24 hours in politics can be a very long time. And it will not matter if you do not succeed on every issue or file. Choose your battles carefully but most importantly balance your workload. Life is definitely short; and remember that each day is a gift.

I hate to admit it but it took breast cancer to stop me in my tracks and truly reflect on what is important in life. What did I want to do once I was finished treatment and back on my feet? How did I want to live my life?

After a lot of soul searching I decided that I wanted a job that I could be passionate about; that would help other people and make a positive difference in society. I also wanted to work with an organization that understood health challenges; that appreciated the value of each individual’s contribution; and that truly respected their employees. Most importantly, I wanted to work with a team of dedicated; passionate; and like minded individuals. And that is why I find myself at rare Charitable Research Reserve today.

The staff, the Board, the volunteers, the scientific advisors; and the donors at rare understand both the importance of commitment and making a difference in society. The goal of rare is to protect, enhance and restore 900 plus acres of ecologically and environmentally sensitive land in Cambridge and North Dumfries Township. rare’s priority to deliver environmental experiential education for the youth of the region; combined with the research that is conducted on the property to enhance and protect both the wildlife and vegetation in the region; are both goals that I am truly passionate about. Why? Because I truly believe that the environment plays a very large role in the health of individuals today. So teaching individuals of all ages about the importance of the environment, combined with research that will ensure the future of the environmentally sensitive features of the property is truly important for all of us.

But why rare? And why Cambridge some of you may be asking?

Well try to imagine starting your day amongst the trees of an old growth forest; versus concrete and tall glass buildings in downtown Toronto.  No rushing to catch the subway; or near misses or traffic congestion along the Gardiner Expressway or 401. Although this is not meant to be disrespectful of Toronto, it is my humble opinion that being outside the shadow of Toronto; in the growing Waterloo Region; rare will be able to develop into an international site for both research and education.

In addition to the work that is done at rare each and every day; there is also an incredible future for the charity and the property that it controls.  So I have taken on this challenge as Executive Director at rare with all of the energy that I can possibly muster. The challenge to work side by side with individuals who care about making a difference; and who want to both protect and enhance the environment for the benefit of the entire public and generations to come is both energizing and rewarding. Each day I learn something new about rare and have come to love both the landscape and old buildings. If you want to know more about rare, I invite you to visit www.raresites.org where I will begin a new blog in the coming days.

And somehow over the past month or two, I not only started work; but I also had some follow up surgery from my breast reconstruction in November. It was supposed to be the final phase; but it turns out I will have another round in a few months. Apparently my radiated side is not behaving exactly the way that it should; so the touch up surgery was very minor in March. Some say that radiation can stay in your body for up to a year or 18 months; and I am just reaching the year threshold now, so I keep stretching and exercising; and hoping that the tightness will subside soon.

The good news about the touch up surgery is that I was able to spend some time with my sisters in Winnipeg for a few days. And that is the one thing that I do not mind about having surgery; spending time with family and friends. I have been truly blessed with a supportive network; everyone is always willing to lend a hand and help out. Plus they cook for me, which is always a treat.

The bad thing about having more surgery is that I have to stop exercising for a month each time; and then I have to start over very slowly. My body is quite confused by this starting and stopping; and my muscle tone is lacking these days; but I keep reminding myself that there is an end in sight.

When I did finally return to the gym the other day; I ran into a gentleman who is always upbeat and always has a kind word for me. When I asked him how he could always be so positive, he told me that it was because he has learned to “Walk behind a Smile”; and that has made all the difference in his life. I told him that I was going to borrow this advice and also spread it around.

So no matter what your troubles may be, health, job or family related; try to put a smile on your face first before you get out of bed each day and put your feet on the floor. And if you remember to “Walk behind a Smile” all day long; it will make a world of difference to your day and to those around you.

For me, it is becoming easier to start my day by “Walking behind a Smile”; as it is almost one year now that I am “cancer free”. This year I will not be having radiation on my birthday, instead, I will wake up tomorrow and head off to work with a smile on my face. Later in the day I will drive back to Amherstburg to join my family for a birthday dinner; and it will indeed be a celebration of life. I am definitely fighting back and I intend to celebrate many more birthdays in the years to come!

 

Shortest Month - Big Plans

I never really understood why the month of February only has 28 days, because it always seems to be over before it starts. In January I decided to do a few proactive things to make my home in Amherstburg more energy efficient. Insulating the basement, the crawl space and the attic, somehow led to finishing the laundry area and adding heat to it, and a few other things. Like fixing the stairs, painting the entrance way, etc. Now I know why renovations are always over budget! The good news is that I should save lots of money next winter on my heating bills; the bad news is that I picked one of the worst winters to do the actual work. Which meant that my garage door was opened and closed about twenty times a day....any idea what that does to your heating bill? In addition to the basement renos; I had a few health tests and appointments to fit in. And of course my colonoscopy was scheduled for the worst snow storm day in a decade in Toronto. So I stayed a hotel close to the hospital while I prepped for the procedure and also stayed the day of the procedure; the first two days of February. Truly not my idea of a winter vacation; but I did indulge a bit after it was over and ordered room service after the procedure. The best part about the trip was the fact that my colonoscopy was clear! No polyps this time; so I am back to the five year check up. It is amazing how you can actually worry so much that you start to be symptomatic; and that's what I think I was doing the last two weeks of January. I now think that the chemo I took in 2009 and 2010, also helped clear out my colon. Just my own thoughts and ideas with no medical doctor telling me this. But I had three polyps removed three years ago, and have none now. So something must have helped. It could also be my commitment to exercise and better eating. I guess I will just accept the results and be happy! And although I stayed overnight in Toronto, the drive the morning after was still not great. I had hoped to get to Waterloo by 8:45 to have breakfast with Kyla by, the daughter of my friend Jo-Anne, however traffic was crazy and my GPS took me the long way! The good news is that she was very patient, and we did have a really nice breakfast, although it was a bit later than expected. Once back in Windsor I had to stop at Lowe's and pick up some things for my basement renos. I made it home with just enough time to get my nails done and have dinner before my online health course started. Friday also was an early start so that I could catch up with Nancy over breakfast before heading off to Lowes again. I was missing a door knob somehow; guess I added another door! Nancy and I had a great discussion; and we laughed about my upcoming trip to Arizona; aka Camp David by my former staff. February has definitely turned into the month for decisions. In addition to my renos, I had to decide if I was going to play golf this coming summer. It should be an easy decision when the ground is covered with snow; but I am not sure what my range of motion will be; or how often I will be able to fit it in with my new job. The good news is that the golf club has created a special category for my friend Kirsten and I; it is called Social Golf. It is exactly what I need right now; as it allows limited play of nine holes of golf twice a month (who really wants to play 18 anyhow?) and access to the club house and other facilities. And the price is right! Perhaps one day when I retire I might actually become good at the game, however right now let's just say it definitely needs work! With that decision made I thought the rest of my day would be relaxing; but after a couple conference calls my Carbon Dioxide Detector started going off; so off to Home Depot I went. Did you know they are designed to stop working after 5 or 7 years; I certainly did not. So by the end of the week I was truly wiped out, basically I couldn't think or concentrate on anything; so I headed off to Sylvia's for a cup of green tea and some girl talk. Now I must admit, and I believe I have mentioned this before, but I truly do not care for cold weather or snow. My body likes warm weather and sunshine. So I had made plans to escape for a few days to sunny Arizona to visit my cousin Ann. But before leaving town on Saturday I got up and went to the gym and then I stopped over at my parents for a long chat over coffee. Sometime while I was packing and sorting my mail it started to snow again. So the drive to the airport was very slow; but the good news was the plane took off almost on time and I found myself in Phoenix, Arizona having a late dinner with my cousin Ann and her husband Jim. You may not believe this, but we went to an all natural restaurant called Tru Food. It was great, but we didn't order dessert; healthy dessert just doesn't have the same appeal! Waking up on Sunday morning to sun was heavenly. And I got up and went for a long walk. Every time I do this I think about my Aunt Helen that passed away from cancer. This was her daily routine and I felt privileged that she shared it with me. It truly was my Camp David when I was in politics. My Aunt provided a refuge for me; a place to get away to and relax; but also to get some exercise, sleep and recharge my batteries. And I am not exactly sure how it happened, but my cousin talked me into going to Sedona for brunch on Sunday. I believe that I agreed because I was going to be able to see Dr Wayne and Judi, and Alan, but as we drove north into the mountains I definitely was having second thoughts. Not because I didn't want to see everyone, it was just the thought that we were headed for colder terrain. I had just left that behind me! The good news was that we did not encounter any snow, and we had a fabulous brunch at The Enchantment in Sedona. On the return trip we stopped at the outlet stores in Anthem. I should say outlet store, because my cousin and I spent most of our time at Ann Taylor's before closing! Monday morning was a bit brisk, but I got up and went for another long walk. And the sun had warmed the temperature by the time I returned. It was actually warm enough that my cousin and I had lunch outside at Bloom. Ann and I also did a little shopping which was a bit strange for me. Trying on pants and jeans is a very different experience since my surgery. My rear end just doesn't fill them out the way it did. Perhaps over time I will get used to the look, but for now it just feels very strange to look in the mirrow. I definitely needed a glass of wine after this shopping excursion and thoroughly enjoyed it while having dinner at the Green House. Another healthy sounding place to eat! Tuesday's weather was also beautiful and I got up and went for my daily walk. Each day I try to improve the time a bit, because I find my walking pace is a bit slower than it used to be. It has not been as easy as I thought it would be to improve my endurance; perhaps my expectations are too high. In any event, Tuesday was my day to just relax and read outside in the beautiful weather. Although I was mostly in the shade as I have to avoid direct sun for the next six months due to my surgery. Ann and I decided to venture out for a late lunch while Jim worked on the computer. It was truly a relaxing day and I did some more reading and watched a little TV. It was hard to believe that Wednesday would be my last full day in the sunny southwest. What was I thinking when I booked a five day trip? However to fully embrace the day I got up and went for a leisurely long walk. Ann and I met our friend Michele for lunch at our favorite place Lon's. On one of my trips to Aizona I would like to stay at the resort where Lon's is located. Just for a night to see what it is like, but for now all I can afford is lunch! After lunch we did a little shopping at Scottsdale Fashion Square. It was time to shed my surgical bra and find a soft full support bra. I could not believe how difficult it was to try to find one without under wire. In the end I did, but they were definitely not cheap! We ended up having dinner at Pei Wei; an eat in/take out chinese food restaurant, before I had to pack things up! Thursday was an early start with my flight at 10...it seemed like I had barely arrived and it was time to go. And as luck would have it I was lucky enough to pay my HST at the border (however I was the only one inside doing this) but I still made it home in time for my online course. Oh yes, this was the reason I could only spend five days away. The health law course....who said the life of a student is easy? Once home there were lots of things to get finished before I begin my new job. My list started with another trip to the automotive garage to tune up my car. I just can't part with the Pacifica yet. I truly like driving it, although my brother-in-law says I need a new vehicle soon... And since I was borrowing my mom's extra car for the day, I drove her to dentist, and then we had a quick shopping trip to costco and lunch. It was nice to spend time together. It also turned into a busy afternoon, with dinner scheduled with a friend from out of town. The good news was the flight was delayed and I was able to fit in a stop at Lowe's. Now I am returning things because I bought the wrong size of door knobs, is that really even possible?....who said home renos are easy! It was a fun evening with dinner at Don Luciano's, but I was definitely ready for sleep by bedtime. Saturday was supposed to be my catch up day and start my health law paper day, but it took on a life of its own. First I allowed myself some extra sleep, then I had to pick out some paint with my sister Terry. Actually I pleaded with her to pick it out as she is the artist in the family. This was followed by a stop at the Lighting Store. I did find some time for laundry and met some friends for pizza at the Verdi Club. But I bailed on the bowling and headed home for a good night's sleep! I got up early on Sunday so I could fit in a visit to the gym and the Dr before leaving for TO. Yes, he met me on a Sunday. I still have a slight infection in one of my incisions. Terry drove to TO so I could relax in the car and take the pressure off my incision. We met up with Katie and then my sister Cathy for lunch. We were all going to see Katie's play. She joined the french club and was part of their theatre production. While Katie was getting ready for the play, Cathy, Terry and I went for a leisurely glass of wine. I wasn't sure that was the best idea when the play was all in french. It was a large effort to concentrate during the performance. The next morning I dropped Terry at the train station in Oakville on my way into Toronto. I finally was meeting with a specialist to discuss the results from some tests last September. It was good news, but delivered in such a strange manner that it brought me down a bit. Not sure what I am supposed to look like after 18 months of treatment (or hell); but when a doctor seems surprised that I look good, he makes me worry. Isn't the goal to fight the cancer, eat right, exercise and look good? Or maybe I was just too sensitive because he didn't have my file before I arrived.... Since it was Valentine's Day, Cathy and Brian went out for dinner at Swiss Chalet (that's where they wanted to go) and I had a quiet dinner with Harley for company. I was quite tired from the drive in to TO and the drive out and enjoyed the quiet time. I truly find it hard to believe that people do it every day of the year. All it takes is one accident on the Gardiner and the highway is just one big parking lot. Tuesday was the day to meet my new oncologist, which meant another early morning drive into TO. It turned out to be an interesting appointment; first because they took me into the examination room right away, and then they forgot about me. It is kind of funny now when I think about it, but I did not think it was very funny that day. I sat in my hospital gown for an hour and 45 minutes....so much for going right in when I arrived. In the end, it all worked out and I was on time for my meetings for the rest of the day. I even found time to catch up with Paddy over a glass of wine. Unfortunately my early meeting on Wednesday had to cancel. However that turned out to be good news because I was able to sleep in a bit and also deal with the icy road conditions. It was a busy day of meetings for my new job, but definitely a positive day. I enjoyed meeting the members of the Board and the local officials. When I arrived home in Amherstburg I was ready for a good night's sleep. Once back in Aburg, I fell back into my routine of going to the gym first thing in the morning. It truly helps me stay positive for the rest of the day. However I am a bit concerned that I am not seeing improvements in my muscle tone. I guess it could just be an age thing.... And just when I thought I could relax a bit I received a call about my next surgery - the touch up or sculpting phase. It was a bit of a scramble to arrange flights and accommodations for mid March with the school breaks, but in the end it worked out. February might be a short month, but it was truly a busy month. Between my health law course; travel to Arizona and Dr appts; I still found time for dinner at friends and an evening for a wine tasting event at CREW. Getting ready for my new job also means finding a place to stay; packing and moving furniture and clothes. Terry and Joe were a great help; and even helped move some items in the blowing snow. Have I mentioned that Windsor and Essex County had a record snow fall for the month of February? The last week of February was supposed to be dedicated to my health law course research paper. But in between I found time for the gym; some last minute packing and a quick trip to Michigan for lunch with Cindy and Jo-Anne. My sister Terry was a lifesaver and helped me get settled in my apartment in Cambridge on the last Friday of the month. Of course we did pick a snow day for the moving van to arrive so things were a bit delayed. We made it back to Aburg just in time to crash for a good night's sleep. I would have loved to sleep in on Saturday morning, but I had a hair appointment at 9 am. I can't believe how slow my hair is growing, but the good news is it is growing. After some more research we went out for dinner for Joe's birthday; it had been postponed the week before due to snow! And as luck would have it my blackberry started to act up and not charge properly. So Sunday became fix my technology day; end result was a new blackberry that can tether to my laptop. We shall see if this actually works and proves useful. I also took a break in the evening to go to Sylvia's son's hockey game; I had not been able to watch Eric play all year due to my course on Thursday nights and due to my surgery. It was a nice break from my research. So today is the last day of the shortest day of the month; and what a busy month it has been. I wish there were two or three more days in February so I could have finished a couple more things. But the reality is there aren't any more days for February; and that means I start my new job tomorrow. So stay tuned; as soon as the announcement is public I will fill you in.

Shortest Month - Big Plans

I never really understood why the month of February only has 28 days, because it always seems to be over before it starts. In January I decided to do a few proactive things to make my home in Amherstburg more energy efficient. Insulating the basement, the crawl space and the attic, somehow led to finishing the laundry area and adding heat to it, and a few other things. Like fixing the stairs, painting the entrance way, etc. Now I know why renovations are always over budget! The good news is that I should save lots of money next winter on my heating bills; the bad news is that I picked one of the worst winters to do the actual work. Which meant that my garage door was opened and closed about twenty times a day....any idea what that does to your heating bill? In addition to the basement renos; I had a few health tests and appointments to fit in. And of course my colonoscopy was scheduled for the worst snow storm day in a decade in Toronto. So I stayed a hotel close to the hospital while I prepped for the procedure and also stayed the day of the procedure; the first two days of February. Truly not my idea of a winter vacation; but I did indulge a bit after it was over and ordered room service after the procedure. The best part about the trip was the fact that my colonoscopy was clear! No polyps this time; so I am back to the five year check up. It is amazing how you can actually worry so much that you start to be symptomatic; and that's what I think I was doing the last two weeks of January. I now think that the chemo I took in 2009 and 2010, also helped clear out my colon. Just my own thoughts and ideas with no medical doctor telling me this. But I had three polyps removed three years ago, and have none now. So something must have helped. It could also be my commitment to exercise and better eating. I guess I will just accept the results and be happy! And although I stayed overnight in Toronto, the drive the morning after was still not great. I had hoped to get to Waterloo by 8:45 to have breakfast with Kyla by, the daughter of my friend Jo-Anne, however traffic was crazy and my GPS took me the long way! The good news is that she was very patient, and we did have a really nice breakfast, although it was a bit later than expected. Once back in Windsor I had to stop at Lowe's and pick up some things for my basement renos. I made it home with just enough time to get my nails done and have dinner before my online health course started. Friday also was an early start so that I could catch up with Nancy over breakfast before heading off to Lowes again. I was missing a door knob somehow; guess I added another door! Nancy and I had a great discussion; and we laughed about my upcoming trip to Arizona; aka Camp David by my former staff. February has definitely turned into the month for decisions. In addition to my renos, I had to decide if I was going to play golf this coming summer. It should be an easy decision when the ground is covered with snow; but I am not sure what my range of motion will be; or how often I will be able to fit it in with my new job. The good news is that the golf club has created a special category for my friend Kirsten and I; it is called Social Golf. It is exactly what I need right now; as it allows limited play of nine holes of golf twice a month (who really wants to play 18 anyhow?) and access to the club house and other facilities. And the price is right! Perhaps one day when I retire I might actually become good at the game, however right now let's just say it definitely needs work! With that decision made I thought the rest of my day would be relaxing; but after a couple conference calls my Carbon Dioxide Detector started going off; so off to Home Depot I went. Did you know they are designed to stop working after 5 or 7 years; I certainly did not. So by the end of the week I was truly wiped out, basically I couldn't think or concentrate on anything; so I headed off to Sylvia's for a cup of green tea and some girl talk. Now I must admit, and I believe I have mentioned this before, but I truly do not care for cold weather or snow. My body likes warm weather and sunshine. So I had made plans to escape for a few days to sunny Arizona to visit my cousin Ann. But before leaving town on Saturday I got up and went to the gym and then I stopped over at my parents for a long chat over coffee. Sometime while I was packing and sorting my mail it started to snow again. So the drive to the airport was very slow; but the good news was the plane took off almost on time and I found myself in Phoenix, Arizona having a late dinner with my cousin Ann and her husband Jim. You may not believe this, but we went to an all natural restaurant called Tru Food. It was great, but we didn't order dessert; healthy dessert just doesn't have the same appeal! Waking up on Sunday morning to sun was heavenly. And I got up and went for a long walk. Every time I do this I think about my Aunt Helen that passed away from cancer. This was her daily routine and I felt privileged that she shared it with me. It truly was my Camp David when I was in politics. My Aunt provided a refuge for me; a place to get away to and relax; but also to get some exercise, sleep and recharge my batteries. And I am not exactly sure how it happened, but my cousin talked me into going to Sedona for brunch on Sunday. I believe that I agreed because I was going to be able to see Dr Wayne and Judi, and Alan, but as we drove north into the mountains I definitely was having second thoughts. Not because I didn't want to see everyone, it was just the thought that we were headed for colder terrain. I had just left that behind me! The good news was that we did not encounter any snow, and we had a fabulous brunch at The Enchantment in Sedona. On the return trip we stopped at the outlet stores in Anthem. I should say outlet store, because my cousin and I spent most of our time at Ann Taylor's before closing! Monday morning was a bit brisk, but I got up and went for another long walk. And the sun had warmed the temperature by the time I returned. It was actually warm enough that my cousin and I had lunch outside at Bloom. Ann and I also did a little shopping which was a bit strange for me. Trying on pants and jeans is a very different experience since my surgery. My rear end just doesn't fill them out the way it did. Perhaps over time I will get used to the look, but for now it just feels very strange to look in the mirrow. I definitely needed a glass of wine after this shopping excursion and thoroughly enjoyed it while having dinner at the Green House. Another healthy sounding place to eat! Tuesday's weather was also beautiful and I got up and went for my daily walk. Each day I try to improve the time a bit, because I find my walking pace is a bit slower than it used to be. It has not been as easy as I thought it would be to improve my endurance; perhaps my expectations are too high. In any event, Tuesday was my day to just relax and read outside in the beautiful weather. Although I was mostly in the shade as I have to avoid direct sun for the next six months due to my surgery. Ann and I decided to venture out for a late lunch while Jim worked on the computer. It was truly a relaxing day and I did some more reading and watched a little TV. It was hard to believe that Wednesday would be my last full day in the sunny southwest. What was I thinking when I booked a five day trip? However to fully embrace the day I got up and went for a leisurely long walk. Ann and I met our friend Michele for lunch at our favorite place Lon's. On one of my trips to Aizona I would like to stay at the resort where Lon's is located. Just for a night to see what it is like, but for now all I can afford is lunch! After lunch we did a little shopping at Scottsdale Fashion Square. It was time to shed my surgical bra and find a soft full support bra. I could not believe how difficult it was to try to find one without under wire. In the end I did, but they were definitely not cheap! We ended up having dinner at Pei Wei; an eat in/take out chinese food restaurant, before I had to pack things up! Thursday was an early start with my flight at 10...it seemed like I had barely arrived and it was time to go. And as luck would have it I was lucky enough to pay my HST at the border (however I was the only one inside doing this) but I still made it home in time for my online course. Oh yes, this was the reason I could only spend five days away. The health law course....who said the life of a student is easy? Once home there were lots of things to get finished before I begin my new job. My list started with another trip to the automotive garage to tune up my car. I just can't part with the Pacifica yet. I truly like driving it, although my brother-in-law says I need a new vehicle soon... And since I was borrowing my mom's extra car for the day, I drove her to dentist, and then we had a quick shopping trip to costco and lunch. It was nice to spend time together. It also turned into a busy afternoon, with dinner scheduled with a friend from out of town. The good news was the flight was delayed and I was able to fit in a stop at Lowe's. Now I am returning things because I bought the wrong size of door knobs, is that really even possible?....who said home renos are easy! It was a fun evening with dinner at Don Luciano's, but I was definitely ready for sleep by bedtime. Saturday was supposed to be my catch up day and start my health law paper day, but it took on a life of its own. First I allowed myself some extra sleep, then I had to pick out some paint with my sister Terry. Actually I pleaded with her to pick it out as she is the artist in the family. This was followed by a stop at the Lighting Store. I did find some time for laundry and met some friends for pizza at the Verdi Club. But I bailed on the bowling and headed home for a good night's sleep! I got up early on Sunday so I could fit in a visit to the gym and the Dr before leaving for TO. Yes, he met me on a Sunday. I still have a slight infection in one of my incisions. Terry drove to TO so I could relax in the car and take the pressure off my incision. We met up with Katie and then my sister Cathy for lunch. We were all going to see Katie's play. She joined the french club and was part of their theatre production. While Katie was getting ready for the play, Cathy, Terry and I went for a leisurely glass of wine. I wasn't sure that was the best idea when the play was all in french. It was a large effort to concentrate during the performance. The next morning I dropped Terry at the train station in Oakville on my way into Toronto. I finally was meeting with a specialist to discuss the results from some tests last September. It was good news, but delivered in such a strange manner that it brought me down a bit. Not sure what I am supposed to look like after 18 months of treatment (or hell); but when a doctor seems surprised that I look good, he makes me worry. Isn't the goal to fight the cancer, eat right, exercise and look good? Or maybe I was just too sensitive because he didn't have my file before I arrived.... Since it was Valentine's Day, Cathy and Brian went out for dinner at Swiss Chalet (that's where they wanted to go) and I had a quiet dinner with Harley for company. I was quite tired from the drive in to TO and the drive out and enjoyed the quiet time. I truly find it hard to believe that people do it every day of the year. All it takes is one accident on the Gardiner and the highway is just one big parking lot. Tuesday was the day to meet my new oncologist, which meant another early morning drive into TO. It turned out to be an interesting appointment; first because they took me into the examination room right away, and then they forgot about me. It is kind of funny now when I think about it, but I did not think it was very funny that day. I sat in my hospital gown for an hour and 45 minutes....so much for going right in when I arrived. In the end, it all worked out and I was on time for my meetings for the rest of the day. I even found time to catch up with Paddy over a glass of wine. Unfortunately my early meeting on Wednesday had to cancel. However that turned out to be good news because I was able to sleep in a bit and also deal with the icy road conditions. It was a busy day of meetings for my new job, but definitely a positive day. I enjoyed meeting the members of the Board and the local officials. When I arrived home in Amherstburg I was ready for a good night's sleep. Once back in Aburg, I fell back into my routine of going to the gym first thing in the morning. It truly helps me stay positive for the rest of the day. However I am a bit concerned that I am not seeing improvements in my muscle tone. I guess it could just be an age thing.... And just when I thought I could relax a bit I received a call about my next surgery - the touch up or sculpting phase. It was a bit of a scramble to arrange flights and accommodations for mid March with the school breaks, but in the end it worked out. February might be a short month, but it was truly a busy month. Between my health law course; travel to Arizona and Dr appts; I still found time for dinner at friends and an evening for a wine tasting event at CREW. Getting ready for my new job also means finding a place to stay; packing and moving furniture and clothes. Terry and Joe were a great help; and even helped move some items in the blowing snow. Have I mentioned that Windsor and Essex County had a record snow fall for the month of February? The last week of February was supposed to be dedicated to my health law course research paper. But in between I found time for the gym; some last minute packing and a quick trip to Michigan for lunch with Cindy and Jo-Anne. My sister Terry was a lifesaver and helped me get settled in my apartment in Cambridge on the last Friday of the month. Of course we did pick a snow day for the moving van to arrive so things were a bit delayed. We made it back to Aburg just in time to crash for a good night's sleep. I would have loved to sleep in on Saturday morning, but I had a hair appointment at 9 am. I can't believe how slow my hair is growing, but the good news is it is growing. After some more research we went out for dinner for Joe's birthday; it had been postponed the week before due to snow! And as luck would have it my blackberry started to act up and not charge properly. So Sunday became fix my technology day; end result was a new blackberry that can tether to my laptop. We shall see if this actually works and proves useful. I also took a break in the evening to go to Sylvia's son's hockey game; I had not been able to watch Eric play all year due to my course on Thursday nights and due to my surgery. It was a nice break from my research. So today is the last day of the shortest day of the month; and what a busy month it has been. I wish there were two or three more days in February so I could have finished a couple more things. But the reality is there aren't any more days for February; and that means I start my new job tomorrow. So stay tuned; as soon as the announcement is public I will fill you in.

When Time Stands Still

 

I truly cannot believe that it is the end of January already, just where has the time gone? It feels like New Year’s Eve was yesterday and that time has actually stood still.

The New Year started off with both promise and excitement. Although I slept in, I got up and went to the gym, before heading over to Sylvia's for a visit with her family in the afternoon. And after a family dinner at Terry and Joe's on New Year's Day, I headed back to Sylvia's for dessert and a game or two of wii jeopardy. Thank goodness Sylvia and her sister MaryAnn are good at trivia!
 
Sunday was a bit of a blur with another late morning, but I kept my commitment and headed to the gym to use the treadmill.  After paying our respects at the funeral home my parents took me out to dinner at Riccardo’s. This made it easy for me to have a rather healthy dinner as I work towards being totally fit in 2011. Later that evening I also spoke with Sylvia on the phone, after catching up on our day’s activities we discussed getting old…. and what that brings.
 
Since Monday morning was still a holiday for bankers, federal employees and a few others that didn't take Friday off in lieu of it, I decided to sleep in and then go to the gym. So it was late morning when Barb stopped by and almost noon when Kirk came by for a quick visit. No sooner had they left then I received a phone call with very sad news. Sylvia's father had died suddenly that morning. I truly didn’t know what to do but I knew that I wanted to be there for her and her family and to help out however I could; and that’s what I did for the rest of the week; tried to be helpful.

 

But perhaps I should backtrack a bit. When I was about seven years of age, Sylvia’s father approached my dad about buying some property in northern Ontario. And to make a long story short; my family also invested in some northern property. I often wonder if Sylvia and I would have met if it hadn’t been for our cottages on the same lake in northern Ontario.

So during my teen years and in my early twenties I spent many hours at Sylvia’s parents’ home and now I cannot help but reflect on the many conversations that I had with her father over the years. He was an Engineer; hard working, extremely disciplined and a truly dedicated family man. And the conversation that stands out the most was the night we were writing Sylvia’s wedding invitations and her dad asked me when I was going to get married. I told him that I wasn’t planning on getting married until after I was 30 (my mother was married at the age of 32, so this seemed reasonable to me). He told me in his very straight forward way that night that no one was going to want me after 30, as I would be old and fat. We all had a good chuckle that night. He was always very direct and honest with his opinion. But I often wonder if I should have listened more to his words of wisdom about marriage…..

So January didn’t start off quite the way that I had hoped. When Sylvia’s father died, life went in a different direction for a few days – almost as if time was standing still. It just didn’t make a lot of sense to me; not that death ever does. But just two days earlier he had danced the night away with his wife celebrating the arrival of the New Year. I truly cannot imagine what life is like when you lose a loved one that is so vibrant and full of life. It was truly heart warming to know that hundreds of people paid their respect at the funeral home; and that many sent cards and flowers and donations. He was an amazing man; and I am truly blessed to have known him and spent so much time with him over the years. He often joked that I was the fifth daughter and you may recall from my August blog that it was Sylvia’s dad who came to my rescue at the cottage and fixed the water pump! He will be missed by many!

Of course he would not be very happy to know that my plans for the first week of January to organize my basement went by the way side. But I truly did not feel like sorting through boxes when I could be helping my friend. So when the guys arrived to start insulating my basement the following week I think they were a little surprised that I had not moved more than two boxes. However, they took it in stride, moved everything to the center, covered it in plastic; and now my basement is definitely a construction site.

Somehow that first week of January I did actually take down my Christmas tree and decorations with the help of Babs and her husband Mark. It truly was nice to have their help and it felt good to put them away. And we still were able to enjoy our annual spa day at Estetica with our mother on the following Saturday. I think I enjoyed it more than usual because I was very appreciative of the time I was spending with her.

The good news about January is that I only had one medical appointment in Toronto and that was with my radiation oncologist who does not wish to see me ever again! The bad news is that it happened to fall on the day of a nasty snow storm and of course I had booked another meeting later in the day that involved my potential new job. So by the time I drove back to Burlington later that evening the roads were a bit treacherous.

The next morning the roads were not much better, and I stopped in Cambridge briefly to look at potential real estate opportunities before heading back to Amherstburg. I now know why my sister does not like driving in the snow belt; it is very exhausting when the weather is bad. However, I had an easy night when I returned home and started to do a little reading for my next law course “biotechnology and health law issues”.

So with the guys banging in my basement on Thursday I decided to skip the gym and tried to finish reading for my course that evening. There truly is a lot to know about biotechnology and health law. And perhaps it was a good thing that the sound system on my computer was not working when the Prof started talking about how legislators should NOT make laws about biotechnology…little does he know that I was once one of those legislators he was criticizing. This is going to be an interesting six weeks….

 

To cap off my week I had a drainage hearing in Dutton on the Friday; so my plans for that evening included only lots of sleep!

Somehow I convinced my sister Terry to venture with me to Cambridge on Saturday to look at real estate with me; however; the weather stopped us from going further than London. It was not to be a wasted trip however, because Terry purchased much needed boots and a new bathing suit for her upcoming cruise. We also had a nice lunch before heading back onto the 401; which was in much better condition late in the afternoon.

Sylvia and I were going to go and watch her son’s hockey game that evening; but he ended up not playing that night; so we had a relaxing evening with a glass of wine at her house instead. It was one of the most peaceful evenings that I have had in a very long time; we just sat and talked; and we reminisced a lot about her dad.

Sunday used to be my day for getting up early; going to church; and then the gym before breakfast at 11:00.  Now I am lucky if I make it to the gym and back before 11:00. However, after a great workout I did organize my health receipts from 2010; it was a bit depressing to see the number of doctor appointments and trips to Toronto that I experienced in 2010; but on the bright side I am still here to talk about it.

My parents often take us out for dinner from time to time for no special reason and Sunday was one of those lucky days. Not only did I get to spend time with my parents and Terry and Joe; but no one had to cook! We enjoyed a great meal at Caldwell’s in Amherstburg and I still had time to work on finishing my health receipts when I got home. 

On Sunday night it seemed like a good idea that I would get up early on Monday morning and go to the gym with Terry and Joe; but 6 am came awfully early! My usual protein shake was not enough to keep me going that morning and I actually made an omelet so I could continue to work on issues for the Tribunal.

 

Tuesday morning I let myself sleep in a bit later because I had a doctor appointment at the gym to review my eating habits for 2011. I am determined to be as healthy as possible this year however the appointment was barely over before I was off to a lunch meeting with my friend Danielle. The good news was that I did not snack for the rest of the day as I worked on the Tribunal decision and a letter in support of breast cancer screening. It was a long but productive day. 

I was back at the gym on Wednesday; although I will admit that it was a bit later than Monday’s 6 am arrival time. And after a two hour work out which includes a number of new stretching exercises for my tight muscles, I found myself at a lunch meeting with my friend Jeff. The right mix of protein and veggies led to yet another very productive afternoon.

 

As I try to make some decisions about the potential job in Cambridge, I convinced my friend Jo-Anne to drive up with me on Thursday to check out a few real estate options. Since she loves to drive I was able to do a bit of reading for my online health law course that evening. I like to think that it was a very successful day because we found a great place to have lunch after a truly exhausting morning. Who thought looking at condominium units and apartments could be so tiring? We also were able to catch up briefly with her daughter Kyla on our drive back to Amherstburg. And just as she promised I was home in time to plop myself in front of my computer screen for round two of biotechnology and health law! 

With the gym only being five minutes from my house there are no excuses for not keeping my resolution for exercise every day; so on Friday morning I made my way there for another exhausting workout. For the first time since my reconstruction surgery I really pushed myself on the cardio machines; and I will also admit that it is a bit unusual for me because I do not like to sweat. But the doctor at the gym advised that I need to increase my heart rate if I want to get in better shape. I also knew that I was meeting my friend Cindy for lunch in the US a couple hours later and decided a little extra effort would allow me to enjoy whatever was on my plate.

 

I am actually surprised at how productive I am becoming in the afternoons as I used to be a morning person. Maybe it is because I am allowing myself more sleep; or maybe it is because my body has adjusted to a different time clock. Whatever it is, I am feeling quite good about the progress that I am making on the list of things that I would like to accomplish in January. As a reward and since I do not like to work late on Fridays in general, it did not take much to convince me to join Sylvia, MaryAnn and her mother for a glass of wine that evening. There was both laughter and tears as they discussed their father and all of the things he had done in life to help them out. 

When time stands still it truly causes you to stop and think about life and what you can change. One of the things that I want to improve on is making sure that I find time to spend with those individuals in my life that are important to me. So on Saturday after a hair appointment with Michele, I picked my dad up and off we went to a 90^th Birthday open house for Louis, a very dear friend of ours. It was truly great to see him and I know my dad was very happy that he went. It is hard to watch your friends’ age; but it is also precious to spend some time with them if you can.

 

I will admit however, that I was actually exhausted Saturday afternoon; so I listened to my body and took an hour long nap. Yes, I know for those nap connoisseurs out there I should not have slept more than 20 or 30 minutes; but I have to be honest and tell you that I was totally refreshed when I woke up! 

And I woke up in time to get dressed in my very best dress and pick my dad up for the Military Charter Mess Dinner at Beachgrove. It was fun to help my dad put his medals on his tuxedo; he looked quite dashing for an 86 year old! And the evening turned out to be a very nice event; I visited with some old friends over dinner; met a couple of new friends; and laughed at the comments of the younger gentlemen in attendance.

 

I drifted off to sleep that night happy that I had spent time with my dad and a special long time family friend that day. 

On Sunday I was a bit late heading for the gym; I could say that my excuse for getting a late start was that Terry and Joe decided not to go; but the truth is that I hit the snooze button several times. However since they did skip the gym they decided to make me breakfast instead. They had also agreed to help me look for the items that I need for my basement; and we spent the afternoon at Lowe’s, Home depot and Costco. 

While Terry and Joe and I were taking a break over dinner I received an email with more sad news. Our friend’s mother had passed away in Saskatchewan. And although we knew that Linda and Ralph had postponed their return trip to Ottawa and that her mother’s health had been failing it still came as quite a shock. I guess that you are never ready for anyone’s death; regardless of age or circumstances.

Terry was also a good sport later that evening and came by to take the photos that I need to send to my plastic surgeon in Winnipeg. Yes, it is follow up time and I am hoping that he will be pleased with the results but I must admit that I am still a bit sore in places. Every day is an improvement though; especially when I eat right; get plenty of sleep and when I go to the gym and stretch those new tight muscles.

Not sure why but somehow the timing of my parents’ different specialist appointments was not communicated properly. I had planned to drive my dad to London on Monday but his appointment was actually on Tuesday as was my mom’s. So Monday became a bit more relaxed and I indulged in some extra sleep before a conference call for the Tribunal. It soon got busy because after a trip to the gym I also agreed to provide an endorsement for a company that did some work at my house. Before I knew it the day was over and I was trying to get some reading in for my course.

Tuesday morning I got up and went to the gym; met with the contractors in my house and soon discovered that I needed different pot lights for my basement. Somehow I was able to pick these up and still pick up my dad at 11:00 for his appointment in London. It was almost an unbelievable winter day for a drive; the roads were dry and clear and we made excellent time. In fact, we even had time for lunch at Red Lobster.

I was barely home when it was time to get ready for dinner with Jo-Anne and the girls; they had all received a PJ Party spa night from their husbands for Christmas and tonight was planning night. It was also the introduction for the new menu at Caldwell’s so it was a fun evening.

 

So between sleeping and exercising; organizing my business receipts; and drafting Tribunal decisions January is coming to a rapid close. When I dropped Terry and Joe at the Detroit airport Friday evening I have to admit that I was a bit envious they are escaping the cold winter weather for a week. However, the good news is that January is almost over and that means one less month of winter weather. I am keeping my fingers crossed for warmer weather in February. 

I am not quite sure where the time has gone as it has been almost eleven weeks since my breast reconstruction surgery; and I only have one more official week of recuperation before I am supposed to be back to all normal activities. And although my cancer treatment, surgery and radiation are all now a distant memory it often feels like time has stood still – and it seems like it was only yesterday when I was officially diagnosed with breast cancer.

 

 

Christmas and New Years with Family and Friends - A Hazyblur and a Bird in Hand

For those that have been reading my blog faithfully, you will already know that Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year....
 
And as I continue to recover from my recent breast reconstruction surgery Christmas seems to be actually more peaceful and relaxed than in years past. Since I can't drive yet I continue to be at the mercy of my family and friends, and although in the past this would have brought me great anxiety now I seem to actually enjoy it and almost embrace it. There are a few reasons why I think this way. First, there is no reason to rush out of bed in the morning, because I really cannot go anywhere...so I have continued to focus on getting well by making sure I do get nine or ten hours of rest each night. Some nights I sleep very soundly and others I wake up several times...but I force myself to try to sleep for the ten hours I have prescribed as part of my get well program. And secondly, when I do have to go somewhere, I have company and a second opinion on the gifts I still would like to purchase. But perhaps most importantly, I get to spend some additional time with family and close friends over the holiday season!
 
Although it seems very long ago, I do recall that in a past life, I would have jumped out of bed, had a shower, breakfast and been in my car in 30 minutes...at some outrageous hour of 6:15 or 6:30 am...rushing off to work, determined to be at the office by 7:00 or so….now I not only get up much later, I take a shower very slowly, and I add in about fifteen minutes of stretching each morning - to prevent lymphodema and to regain the full range of motion in my shoulders and arms. At some point in the morning I actually cook myself breakfast, unless I have leftover quiche from Terry and Joe's! Add in a load of laundry and pretty soon it is more than an hour since I actually got out of bed – and perhaps it is closer to noon!
 
So Christmas week was very relaxed due to both my slow pace of moving around and the fact that I was somewhat trapped in my own house! But the good news is that I was able to finish writing all of my cards and wrap the gifts that I had purchased long before Christmas Eve. It almost felt like I was breaking with tradition to not have anything left to wrap after midnight mass...but it certainly was nice not to be fretting about things on the 24th.

Since my health is definitely my priority right now, I did fit in a visit with my oncologist in Toronto on the Tuesday before Christmas. I actually took the train up – very, very early in the morning and returned in the evening. The good news is that everything is going well, so the day was well worth the visit.

What better Christmas present could I ask for then a positive visit with my oncologist? My sister Cathy was able to join me for the visit and everyone had a good laugh when they walked into the examination room and found me lying flat on my back….remember I am still not sitting much and standing or lying flat is the best for me. My oncologist, Dr. Dent, has been an amazing part of my cancer journey; not only has she kept me positive on some pretty dark days, she has also provided great insight into all treatment options. Of course I had to show off the early results of the breast reconstruction surgery and also I wanted to wish her the very best in 2011.

I also have to admit that I was very relieved to have Cathy join me for my appointment. There is just something about being alone when you see your cancer doctor that doesn’t feel right. Perhaps it is the fact that while you are sitting in the waiting area you know that some one near you may be waiting for results that could be bad news…and you can’t help but think about this, because you were once there yourself. Or you look across at the chemo area and thank God that you have finished that stage of your treatment….was it really only a year ago? Yes, having Cathy meet me at Sunnybrook was a day brightener. 

After my appointment I also managed to fit in a glass of wine to celebrate my friend Paddy’s birthday before boarding the train back to Windsor. It was also my first glass of wine since my surgery, so it was a double celebration. Paddy and I met in 1993, and it continues to amaze me that we are no longer 30 years of age….in fact that seems like a lifetime ago! We have both been through so much in the past 17 years since we met. One of the best things about political life was some of the friends that I made and kept. They have been a great source of support over the past few years and especially through my cancer battle. 

Although it was a long day for me, it was even longer for my sister Terry, who not only drove me to the train station (after she woke me up), but then she worked the entire day and still agreed to pick me up late in the evening! My family has been truly amazing through all of this, and I am sure they are also hoping that I will be driving again very soon!

And I must confess that I had to cancel the early Christmas baking that I had planned and focus on getting ready for Christmas. Although positive, the day spent in Toronto tired me out and after a bit of shopping with Sylvia on Wednesday I went home and crashed for a while. Eventually I did work on my gift wrapping and thought about baking cookies, but it was a very distant thought!

I almost forgot to mention that my brother-in-law Joe rigged up this neat funnel system for me to water my Christmas tree; and once I figured out how to check the water level without bending forward, I also figured out how to make sure the container has plenty of water without ruining my floor! And since I can’t sit to play my piano right now, I have a new habit of turning on Christmas piano music every time I water my tree. It is also usually playing whenever anyone stops by…..I think I am driving my family a bit crazy with all of the Christmas carols…but I have promised to stop after little Christmas in January!

 

My good friend Danielle took a break from her busy schedule and showed up with Chinese food for lunch on the Thursday before Christmas. We had a great time catching up and I really enjoyed the take out food; couldn’t remember the last time that I had Chinese food! And I also had a small glass of red wine to celebrate our friendship and toast good health in the coming year.

 

It was hard to believe how fast the week went by. Before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve, and after going to my manicure appointment to which my niece Katie graciously drove me, it was time to make the spinach salad for dinner. Joe, of course did most of the cooking and we had a fabulous meal of broccoli soup, French tortiere with homemade tomato salsa, spinach salad, and a variety of homemade desserts courtesy of Verna and Tina who joined us for dinner! 

Terry and our very good friend Margo, agreed to come to midnight mass with me. Well actually they agreed to take me to mass…but the good news for them is that midnight mass is now at 10 pm, so they were actually home long before midnight! I just love the church with the lighted Christmas trees, the candles and the poinsettias; they could have turned down the lights just a bit; but overall it was beautiful and peaceful. The only real problem was that I discovered the wooden pews are very, very hard and I found sitting very difficult after the first half of the mass; so I stood near the back of the church for the second half. The choir however was lovely and I didn’t mind standing to listen to them; I actually have a CD of the Christmas carols they sing at Christmas to listen to at home….did I mention that I love Christmas carols?

 

And I did actually bake something before Christmas, it was the crust for the Cherry Cheesecake that I make each year and I did this after mass on Christmas Eve. So even though I didn’t get the cookies baked as planned, I was keeping up part of my end of our family tradition with the cheesecake for dessert! And of course the spinach salad….that I would make again for Christmas and Boxing Day! 

Christmas morning was also very leisurely for me as brunch wasn’t scheduled at Terry and Joe’s until 11 or so. It was nice to turn on my Christmas carols and enjoy my tree while I got ready. And of course the main course at brunch was Joe’s famous quiche.

 

After brunch and opening a few gifts, Katie dropped me off at my house so I could finish making dessert and the salad for dinner, but also so I could take a nap! Cathy, Brian and Harley drove down to be with everyone for Christmas dinner, which was turkey with all the trimmings courtesy of Joe!

 

A few years ago my sisters and I decided that we didn’t need to exchange big gifts; but decided instead to buy one nice bottle of wine for each other. So we go to the vintages section in the LCBO and try to find new or different wines to fit the taste or lifestyle of the recipient. Cathy and Brian bought me a nice shiraz from Australia called “A Hazyblur” and what a fitting name for not only the winery but also the year that I have had. The name Hazyblur was chosen for the winery when the owner was driving back on a hot summer day and there was a shimmer or mirage over the grapes – or a hazy blur.  And truly my cancer treatment in 2009 and 2010 now feels like a hazy blur when I think back to those days. 

On Boxing Day morning Cathy brought Harley to my house and we went into town to go for a walk through the King’s Navy Yard Park. It was a bit cool out, but it was nice to walk outside and enjoy some clean fresh air!

 The day quickly turned into a blur of activity with my nieces Shelby and Stephanie and Steph’s boyfriend Corey arriving from Waterloo. We visited at my parents before heading over to Terry and Joe’s for another fabulous dinner. Unfortunately my mom wasn’t feeling up to par and stayed home but one of the greatest things about Terry and Joe living next door is that it was easy to transport a warm dinner to her. And in the end it actually gave me a chance to visit with her and to watch part of the Sound of Music; a family favorite movie!

 

I finally decided that I could drive as I hit week six of recovery and ventured over to Terry and Joe’s for another incredible breakfast before everyone departed. Margo and Casey stopped by and it also was a chance to reminisce and catch up on life.

 

No sooner had I arrived home for a nap when my mom called to tell me that my Great Aunt Helen and her son Tim had stopped by for a visit. So I put off the nap and headed back over to see them. In true form I was totally impressed to see how well my Great Aunt Helen looks at the age of 94; you truly would never guess her age. She is one very impressive lady, who not only is still driving but also made a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings on Christmas Day for her sons and grandchildren. 

However by late afternoon I did indeed need to take a nap while I caught up on my laundry. The nap worked out well because I had new energy when my good friend Barb and her husband Dave stopped by later that evening to visit and to see my Christmas tree. I think she was also happy to see that I wasn’t wearing pajamas!

 

Perhaps it was holiday overload, I am not really sure but I slept until almost noon the next day! My Aunt Judi and Uncle Marty stopped by for a visit in the afternoon, and so did Terry and Margo to say hello. Once everyone was gone I took another nap. So it appears I was definitely in need of some extra sleep, or maybe it is just part of the healing process. The good news is that I did enjoy a nice glass of wine later that evening when my friend Babs stopped by to catch up.

 

Determined to get back into the swing of things I jumped at the opportunity to head to the gym with Terry the next day. But I will admit that after 30 minutes on the treadmill at a very slow pace, I was basically toast. Tried to revive myself by having a protein shake, but in the end went home and relaxed for the rest of the day. And once again this was a good strategy because Jo-Anne and Ron, Sylvia and Pete, MaryAnn and my sister Terry and Joe came by for some Christmas cheer after dinner. I opened one of the special bottles of wine that Terry and Joe had given me for Christmas, called “A Bird in Hand”, and it was a really nice Shiraz. The Bird in Hand winery is named after an old gold mine, and to me, it was quite appropriate to drink this lovely bottle of wine with family and friends, who are my gold mine. We also shared the bottle of Hazyblur that Cathy and Brian had provided, as they all helped me through the cancer journey. In the end it turned into a bit of a wine tasting evening but both my sister and Jo-Anne have daughters that served as designated drivers, so no one was driving after a glass or two of wine.

The next morning my phone rang at 7:30….Terry was offering to pick me up to go to the gym…which I had forgotten about the night before. Since I was awake and I needed her to tie my running shoes (as I still can’t bend forward) I accepted her invitation and headed to the gym. This time I tried to increase the duration of the workout on the treadmill by adding extra time and increasing the speed. However, after 40 minutes, I was definitely tired. Terry did volunteer to take me to Leamington to look at fireplaces and after our outing another nap was in order before a lovely dinner at Terry and Joe’s with their neighbours. And as a surprise gift, Sylvia and Peter’s sons, Eric and Colin came by to clear the remaining ice from my driveway that day!

The next day Terry got me out of bed to go to the gym again. This time I decided to only do 30 minutes on the treadmill as I didn’t want to tire myself out for New Year’s Eve. And after a quick stop with my mom to exchange her Christmas sweaters that didn’t fit and our preplanned manicures, I settled in for another nap so that I would be wide awake at midnight. One of the best things about still wearing my wig is that I can take a nap in the afternoon and not worry about how my hair will look later in the day!

That evening, a group of us went to Pointe West, the local golf club, for a great New Year’s Eve dinner, followed by dancing and yes, a glass of champagne at midnight. It truly was an evening to celebrate the end of 2010 and to welcome 2011; and for me, the beginning of a new stage in my life, that doesn’t involve chemo, radiation, and major surgery. Yes, some reconstruction touch up surgery still to come, but all major procedures are hopefully now behind me, so I definitely embraced the New Year surrounded by family and friends.

Happy 2011 to one and all!

A Winter White Recovery

Did I mention that when I arrived in Winnipeg for my breast reconstruction surgery that there was absolutely no snow on the ground? It started snowing the morning of my surgery and basically it didn't stop for the rest of November.
 
After I left the hospital, all of the snow did not bode well for my exercise plan; as going outside for a walk seemed a bit too dangerous in case I slipped and fell. So my walking for the first ten days was inside the condominium. Did you know that according to Wikipedia 200 – 250 steps is considered a city block? Or at least that is what we decided as I tried to build my walking up to two or three blocks several times a day.
 
I must admit that my time in Winnipeg actually went by very quickly. Between Jo-Anne and Barb cooking meals, a couple of check ups with the Doctor;s office and visitors stopping by, the days actually seemed a little busy at times. Or maybe it was the fact that I was sleeping for most of the day. And although I did not really do much in the early days, I did follow the doctor's post surgery orders to stand straight or lay down, eat healthy and rest.
 
As a result of such good care from my friends everything went very smoothly at my follow up appointment with Dr Buchel on December 1st, and I received permission to fly home on December 8th. So Jo-Anne headed home as planned on December 2nd, and Barb returned to spend the last week with me.
 
And just as Jo-Anne expected, her flight had not even landed in Windsor before I convinced Barb that I was ready for a walk outside in Winnipeg's snowy weather. The doctor had said everything looked great and the recovery instructions said that I needed exercise so in a way, I was just following the doctor's orders. And I must admit that it felt really good to get some fresh air (even though it was very chilly in Winterpeg) and some exercise at the same time. We were very careful walking on the snow covered sidewalks and we did not go very far or very fast, but Barb and I decided to add a walk in the snow to our daily routine.
 
When I think back on our walks, they often had another goal, such as buying groceries, postage stamps or even some small Christmas presents. These errands provided not only purpose, but motivated me to see how far I could walk each day. I was thrilled if we stayed outside for an hour because it also helped with sleeping at night.
 
It was a few days before I felt well enough to lie on the couch, or perhaps more accurately well enough to actually get up off the couch without bending. However, once I mastered this, with some assistance of course, we started watching some very entertaining and classical movies. In the end, I decided that they all had a similar theme that closely resembled some of the books my friend Sylvia had sent me to read – boy meets girl, girl meets boy, they fall in love, they argue, and they make up and get married. Any resemblance to real life here?

 
As the day for our departure back to Windsor approached, I became quite nervous about the idea of actually sitting on the airplane to fly home. I didn't want to have any problems with my incisions, and I really hadn't sat down for more than a few minutes at a time. And truth be told, it wasn't actually anything close to real sitting. Try to imagine sitting on a 20 or 30 degree angle versus a 90 degree angle and see where your head and shoulder end up on the chair or couch!

Barb was quite a trouper and headed out on our last cold and snowy day to buy me a pillow to take with me when I flew home. I am sure that I was quite a site carrying my pillow and my stick for picking things up. We arrived early at the airport only to find our plane was delayed, so we found a row of chairs where I could lay down. Again, I am sure it was quite a site! In the end I was almost the last one to board the plane and luck was on our side with very little turbulence en route to Toronto so I was able to get up and walk around every ten minutes or so.

Unfortunately the seats in the Toronto airport didn’t provide the ability to lie down, so I walked around for an hour before we boarded the plane to Windsor. However once again I was able to get up and stretch out a couple times on the flight.

Over the past twenty years, I couldn’t actually tell you how many times I have flown into the Windsor airport, but I know this was probably one of the happiest landings I have ever had. It was a relief to know that I would finally be home in Amherstburg. And within an hour of landing I was back in my house where Terry helped me unpack, and heated up some turkey soup that Joe had made before they left. Although it felt a bit strange to be alone that evening, I was absolutely thrilled to be home!

Although I was determined to get back into a normal routine as quickly as possible, there does remain a major problem. I can’t leave my house unless someone ties my shoes, or helps with my boots or drives me around! So on the very first day I was home, Jo-Anne stopped by to help me put on my shoes so that I could walk into town for my standing manicure appointment. It truly was liberating to be able to take a walk alone and it may sound strange but I thrive on the simpler things in life now, and walking in the brisk weather is one of them. Unfortunately my shoes didn’t stay tied very well and since I couldn’t bend over to fix them I had to ask for help once I arrived at the salon. Everyone had a good laugh, including me, about my current predicament!

Just when I thought I was making great progress, the snow that I had left behind in Winnipeg caught up with me, making my recovery plan a bit more challenging. The first snowfall was very light, and melted away, but with slippery conditions everyone advised me against walks outside. My cousin Verna stopped by to help me out that first snow day and before we did a couple errands for some groceries and Xmas lights for my tree she even shoveled my driveway. Our shopping trip was quite an effort, and I laugh when I realize it took a couple hours to do something that would normally take about 30 minutes!

The really good news was that Terry and Joe had not only picked up my Christmas tree at Bondy’s farm up the road, they actually brought it in and set it up Saturday afternoon. And it was just in the nick of time, because the very next day we were walloped with a storm that raged all day. In the end I think there were only 10 or 12 cm of snow, but it was wet and icy, and it has never completely melted. In fact, my driveway still has some slippery patches a week later!

Call me crazy but on that snowy Sunday afternoon I convinced my sister Terry to take my mom and me to see a play at the Capitol Theatre called “The Snow Goose”. The son of a friend of mine was playing a role in the production and it was very enjoyable. The story line was about Christmas, but with a twist. It focused on a family that had a father serving in Afghanistan, and a great grandfather that had served in World War II.  I was very impressed with the production and enjoyed the afternoon, even though I stood at the back through most of the performance! The title of the play was fitting, because when we exited the theatre, it was still snowing…..

So with the change in weather my daily outside walks came to quite a startling end. I went back to walking around my house and added some stairs to my daily routine as my laundry unit is in the basement of my house. Once again I was dependent on my family and friends to stop by and to take me with them on their shopping trips!

The good news about being trapped in my own house means that I should be able to get a few things done without any interruption or excuses! And I did manage to write a number of Christmas cards the first week that I was home as well as sort through a month’s worth of mail and catch up on some overdue office paperwork. I still have plans to accomplish a few more things while I recuperate, but I did not truly understand how difficult it was going to be to stand or lay flat when I put together my to do list. My stamina improves each day but it is not great if I stand still in one spot for more than 30 to 45 minutes so I have become creative by adding short walks to whatever task I am trying to accomplish.

My friends and family have continued to be a blessing throughout my recovery from surgery, and in addition to driving me around they also helped me put up my Christmas decorations! Sylvia and Jo-Anne did an absolutely wonderful job decorating my Christmas tree as I offered advice from my position on the couch! So wonderful that I am hoping they will return next year!

It is truly amazing how fast Christmas is coming, and I wonder if I will be prepared….Sylvia and I still have plans to do some shopping…I also have plans to do some baking, but that may just be wishful thinking if I don’t get my gifts wrapped soon! Whatever happens I am just going to take one day at a time, and listen to my body when it tells me that I need rest, eat as healthy as I possibly can and try to get some exercise in this snowy winter weather!  Christmas is just around the corner….and I do plan to enjoy it!

Reconstruction Wonders

You have probably heard of the Seven Wonders of the World, and perhaps you have even had the opportunity to visit one or two.
 
I have titled this blog reconstruction wonders, because that is how I feel about the surgery and results so far. Now be warned, this blog has some graphic description of breast reconstruction and is not for the faint at heart.
 
But let me start at the very beginning, just over a year ago after I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had stepped down from my role with the Canadian Cancer Society, a good friend, Dr. Al, called me to see how I was doing. Dr. Al was the heart surgeon who saved my dad's life back in 97, and he is now located in Manitoba.
 
To make a long story short, he basically informed me that Dr. Buchel and his team were doing some pretty impressive work in Manitoba for women with breast cancer. He offered to provide some contact information and I readily accepted.
 
Not long after my discussion with Dr. Al, I had lunch with another friend from Manitoba. She had undergone immediate breast reconstruction at the time of her cancer surgery and was pleased with her results. She also praised the program in Winnipeg.
 
Now this is a bit hard for most that live in the province of Ontario to accept, but the fact is, after months of research and meeting with three different plastic surgeons in Ontario, Winnipeg is miles ahead in the type of micro surgery that they do and the priority they place on breast reconstruction.
 
As an example, if you are diagnosed with breast cancer in Manitoba, and told that you need a mastectomy, the program is designed so that you meet with a plastic surgeon within two to three weeks of diagnosis. You are able to find out your options and if you choose immediate reconstruction the plastic surgeon becomes part of your cancer treatment team.
 
Contrast this with Ontario and the picture is truly not so bright. If you meet with a plastic surgeon within six months of diagnosis you are doing well. And usually that only happens if you beg and plead, as I did. More often then not, they don't even want to see you for your first consultation until six months to a year after you have completed radiation, and reconstruction surgery is usually months down the line. However there are some physicians that are doing immediate reconstruction, you just have to find them.
 
All that being said I carefully weighed the pros and cons of immediate reconstruction. And I decided after consultation with my oncology team and family and friends, to fight the cancer first, with chemo, surgery, and radiation, and to have reconstruction surgery second.

And again after weighing the pros and cons of reconstruction options, and knowing that I did not want surgery that involved implants, back or stomach muscle, I decided on the newer micro surgery. And the reality is that no one in Ontario has done many SGAPs or IGAPs period; and only one that I could find has actually done a bilateral SGAP.
 
Now this is where the story is truly not for the weak stomach. But so that you understand, the preferred surgery for my body type was the bilateral IGAP, which involves using the tissue from my buttocks and creating a flap for my new breasts. And yes, it is as invasive as it sounds.
 
But it was my best option, so I signed up for it and that's why I find myself flat on my back in Winnipeg recovering from surgery for the next week or so.
 
The results so far are much better than I was expecting. To be frank, they will not be perfect or symmetrical at first or maybe never. And I have been warned that I am not out of the woods yet, there is a chance my body could still reject the tissue flap transfer. However, I am following the doctor's orders, laying flat or standing, going for short walks and eating healthy (thanks to Jo-Anne who is out here with me!)
 
However, perhaps I should back up a bit and also explain that this surgery requires a strong support network. And once again my dear friends enlisted to help me out!
 
Barb flew out with me on the Saturday before my surgery to help get organized and to stay with me throughout my hospital stay. And we quickly discovered that Winnipeg is indeed much colder than Windsor!
 
The day before my surgery, I had a chance to reconnect with Dr. Al, and meet his wife and son. We all met for a lovely brunch at the Fort Garry Hotel. It was a great chance to catch up, and to learn a little bit more about Winnipeg. It also took my mind off the surgery scheduled for the next day. Barb and I also had a chance to take a walk to the Osborne Village shopping area, and pick up a few things at the Safeway and Shoppers. Barb also picked up a bottle of wine....I think she thought she was going to need it to get through the week!
 
Surgery was scheduled for 7:30 am Monday morning, which meant we had to arrive at the hospital at 5:45 am. And it took about eight hours (so I am told). Pain medication kept me very sleepy for the first 24 to 48 hours after the surgery.
 
I must admit that it is truly a nice feeling to have someone watching out for you, talking with the doctors and nurses, and monitoring your care. Barb was at my bedside from early morning to late at night while I was in the hospital. And I am certain that it is due to her care and concern that I was able to return to the condominium seven days after the surgery!
 
It was also due to the amazing care that I received at the hospital. The nurses were incredible, and most were very experienced with IGAP patients and knew exactly how to move me around. They also were good at pushing me to do my breathing exercises and eat my food.
 
I was pretty excited when the doctor said that I could get up on day three with physio. What I wasn't expecting was the total dizziness that accompanied it. Suffice it to say that I stood up for probably less than five minutes the first time. But on the second day, I actually walked a little with physio, and later in the day with the nurse and Barb's assistance I walked a bit more. I was determined to get out of the hospital and back to the condo where I could have a good night's sleep.
 
The weekend doctor wasn't as positive about my possible discharge on the Monday, but that only made me more determined to get out of bed and move around as much as possible. Perhaps I was a bit too determined as a couple of night nurses were a bit hesitant in helping me up which I found a little difficult to deal with.
 
One of the most challenging and frustrating issues I faced in the hospital was trying to use the washroom standing up. But eventually I managed this task as well. (And I used to think losing an election was a humbling experience!)
 
The weekend also brought a visit from a woman who had undergone the same procedure two years earlier. She and I had communicated many times via email and also on the phone prior to the surgery. It was a great relief to see living proof of a successful surgery. She truly looks amazing and is very happy with her results.
 
And I am not sure who was more excited, Barb or me, when the doctor said early Monday morning that I could leave the hospital that day. Although there were a few official items that needed to be completed before I could be discharged, it was shortly after lunch when I found myself lying in a comfortable bed back at the condo.
 
Jo-Anne had arrived earlier that morning, and I am pretty sure Barb was ready to turn over the reigns to her and go back to Windsor for a good night's sleep!
 
It was truly nice to have a home cooked meal of salmon and broccoli for dinner. It was also nice to have hot tea and homemade hermit cookies. The condo has a counter/eating bar which is perfect for me to stand at and eat or drink, as I am not supposed to sit for at least another week.
 
As one day blends into the next, I continue to regain my strength gradually with great home cooked meals and care, courtesy of Jo-Anne, phone calls from friends back home, lots of sleep and short bouts of exercise. If it wasn't for the fact that I can't sit properly, I would say that I am about seventy to eighty per cent back to normal.
 
My check up at the clinic on Thursday went very smoothly once we found a taxi with a seat that reclined in the front. That was something of an experience due to the new rules being implemented in Winnipeg for shields around the driver. And it was an incredibly snowy day on Thursday as we inched our way to and from the hospital clinic for the check up. Have I mentioned that Winnipeg is having a record snowfall for the month of November?
 
Home at the condo again meant scrounging through the fridge for leftovers. For me, Jo-Anne's spinach pie is amazing and I could eat that every day, so it wasn't leftovers to me! She tells me that I am a fussy eater and I laugh, because I don't think that I am, however I just like my food quite simple in its preparation. And since I can't have chocolate because I can't have caffeine, desserts are definitely a bit challenging these days!
 
For me, reconstruction is a huge step forward to full recovery. It will hopefully bring some peace from my cancer experience and allow me to move forward in so many ways. I know it is early days yet, but it feels like this enormous weight has been lifted from my shoulder.
 
And it is important to recognize that breast cancer survivors are all very different, and reconstruction may not be the path you wish to follow for you or your loved one. Both of my grandmothers lived long lives and I believe that I am going to live to be ninety. I want my body to be somewhat normal as I go through life's journey, so reconstruction was definitely important for me. I don't want to wash my breast prosthesis every day, nor do I want to buy special bras or swim suits for the rest of my life. But again, this is a very personal decision and any kind of surgery should not be considered lightly.
 
The best news about my reconstruction surgery so far, is it is truly a wonder to have the support and care of my family and friends as I go through this step in life. Although some were not in favour of another surgery, they have accepted my decision with grace and supported me every step of the way. Yes, reconstruction has truly been one of the wonders of my life.